Twenty-three

Today is a most special day. I want to write a tribute to someone very dear to me. Twenty-three years ago today I met Emily Tuttle. It was a blizzardy day outside, and we made it to the hospital in the middle of the night before the snow began to pile up. The labor pains told me that this was going to be a long but joyful day. I was finally going to give birth to our long-awaited, long-prayed for, long-desired little one. I couldn’t believe that I was going to be a mom. I had resolved to myself that probably I was not going to be able to have a biological child after years of unsuccessful attempts, surgeries, and disappointments. We were busy preparing to adopt and well along in the process when after one more surgery to correct a problem, I became pregnant. We rejoiced and waited for the arrival. We didn’t know it was Emily, because we wanted to be surprised. I love surprises and being pregnant was surprise enough.

It turns out that Emily loves surprises, too! Emily loves to surprise me! She has pulled off several amazing and wonderful surprises during the last twenty-three years, but they all pale compared to the first one….the day she arrived and was placed in my arms. That was pure bliss, overwhelming joy, an incomparable thrill, ecstasy….to literally partner with God in the creation of a new life. It was worth all the pain….in fact, worth more pain. I can’t imagine missing out on that experience and her brother’s birth three years later. I am so privileged to be counted worthy to be Emily’s and Philip’s mom.

I remember unwrapping her in my arms for the first time to look at her miniature body, to touch her little fingers and toes and kiss each one. It was our first time to gaze into each other’s faces and be introduced. It was a sacred moment between me and Emily and God. I will forever be grateful. I have never gotten over that day. I still relive it and I still cherish the memory of it.

I knew God had plans for Emily’s life, because those years when she was only a dream in my heart, I prayed for her. I asked God to send us children to raise for His service and glory, whether they be biological or adopted. So when she came and then later her brother, my prayers stayed the same. The answered prayer of twenty-three years ago is the reason I could say goodbye to Emily on January 6, 2011, as she left on the World Race, with a peace in my heart knowing that the next year was part of that journey that I prayed for… where she will meet God in many new places and learn a new kind of dependence on Him that will sustain her from here on long after I’m gone. This year she will reach the highest highs and the lowest lows so far, and she will face challenges that she never imagined, but I know she is ready and prepared for the journey, and I know she is not alone.

Happy Birthday dear daughter. You are precious and cherished. You were always wanted and loved. We love you more than you can possibly understand at this point in your young life, but someday you will know. We will miss seeing you every day of this twenty-third year of your life and will wait longingly for our reunion, but what a way to spend this year! WOW! You are in my every thought and every prayer.

Since the first day we met, I have been changed forever….for good. I love you!

~Mom