It's so hard to believe that Emily is in month seven of the World Race!! How is that possible? When she left in January, it felt like she was leaving for life, and I braced myself for the long days of waiting and wondering. Sounds dismal, eh? Well it has been dismal some days....like when I haven't heard from her in two or three weeks (sometimes longer) because the internet is either unavailable in her "rain forest" or too weak in her town to receive a skype call. It can feel dismal when she's sick and hurting, and there's nothing I can do to comfort her or fix it...but pray...a lot...(the World Race is great for your prayer life!). It can feel dismal when she's worn down and discouraged, and I can't cook her favorite meal or a batch of chocolate chips cookies or rub her back, like I did when she was home or send her a care package like I did when she was in college!
Emily is enthusiastic and optimistic during our skype talks, because she's happy to see us, and she chooses to focus on the good and positive instead of the negative to keep her perspective. But once in a while, I ask her the hard questions to help her "feel". And it's weird how I've felt some of the same feelings as she has...sometimes simultaneously. I'm not saying that I've felt "all" the same feelings such as homesickness or craving for a certain food or the chronic aching in my feet (Em has foot problems) from hiking 5 miles to preach to a village or sticky and filthy from no shower for several days...those I can't say I've experienced, and even if I do, I can stay home, get off my feet or go take a shower! So, if I even hint about comparing my circumstances to her and her team, I will receive a verbal lashing and be labeled delusional and disconnected with reality! What I mean is that while she is feeling homesick, I'm feeling the same longing to see her...to hug her and talk face-to-face. So, it seems that as the Racers experience cycles of emotions throughout their year, so do their parents...at least I have.
For our kids, they started out with feelings of high hopes, exhilaration, enthusiasm and anticipation, then moved on to continued enthusiasm with a dose of reality but still energized...then on to "Okay, I'm doing some amazing, out-of-the-box stuff for God, and He and I are getting tighter", then to "Hey, I'm learning some new words in Spanish and I think God is calling me to work with at-risk-children..what's next?!", to "If I have to eat another plate of beans and tortillas and hear cats fighting outside my window for hours, I will go crazy" ...oh, and "I'm SO sick of these same clothes!" to "Why do my teammates annoy me so much?" Then there are days of sickness and nights of very little sleep, and more frustration with teammates (after all, when you spend that much time with the same people for that long, there is bound to be conflict). Eventually, they say, "Now what was the reason I came on this journey????" Feelings of homesickness return and then the realization hits that they have five more months to go! Then month six surprises them..."Wow, that was the best month of ministry ever!" and while their energy is renewed, it's short-lived because 'letdown' follows from the 'high' of month six as they adjust to a new culture, feeling like the next four months may never end. But hope surges again from the exhilaration of a breakthrough with a teammate or a great ministry moment.... and on and on. I'm sure I can't speak for everyone, because though situations may be similar to all racers, life issues out of their control prior to the race affect their responses to the conditions they find themselves in. But, generally speaking, the racers' moods and emotions go through this pattern, and though I can't say I've experienced the same conditions, I can say that I've had similar cycles of highs and lows and steady days...partly because I tend to feel the feelings of my child and bear her burdens, and partly because I'm going through my own life struggles at the same time which include those moments I wouldn't change if I could and those moments I would love to change but can't.
So, by month seven, I'm wearing down and I'm ready to see my kid! I'm sick of being separated. I feel like I hit a wall when she did. They say the racers hit one about month five. Well, check....I've hit one too, because I'm tired of missing her, and I'm feeling like I can't wait another six months. It's no longer okay that the internet doesn't function well or that she may not be able to blog or email next month! At first, I told myself that it was okay, that it hasn't been that long...just relax. Now, I don't know what to say to her when she needs encouragement, because I NEED ENCOURAGEMENT!
Anyway, enough venting! Even though we parents can't totally relate to our kid's feelings and struggles, we have our own which seem to track with theirs and somehow, it all keeps us connected and embraced for the time being until we will all be reunited again....oh how sweet it will be!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Global Family
It’s so fun to see how God leads his children to become involved in the Kingdom work. We’re excited for our friend, Steven Reed, as he leaves in nine days to begin the World Race! He is like a son to us. He and Emily have been good friends since the second grade. They have grown up together and have always been close, working together on school projects, student government, and now share a passion for missions and international work. Steven went with Emily and me to Guatemala last year to help in the orphanage where Emily had spent the previous summer. He fell in love with the people in Central America, and the next thing we knew, he took an internship in Panama. Now he is going on the World Race and was chosen as his team leader! He is compassionate and hard-working. We’re happy to support his ministry this next year and follow his journey. Follow along with us at www.stevenreed.theworldrace.org.
We are big believers in going to see what God is doing in the world and becoming a part of it if possible. It has been so great meeting online and following so many committed young adults on the World Race. We feel like we know Emily’s teammates even though we have never met them face-to-face. We read their blogs and pray for them daily. They have become family to us this year. Their joys are ours, and their heartaches and burdens are ours, too!
The biggest blessing for the World Racers seems to be their global family…the brothers and sisters they meet and serve around the world. Language barriers disappear, differences become invisible and are replaced by common dreams for a better world……a preview of heaven. I’ve learned a lot about myself through watching and hearing their messages through their videos and blogs, and feeling honored to be a member of their audience, but wishing I was along on the race.
And then I realize that I am a member of the global family, too. I’m just an older member who has run my own race and though a little further along in the journey, I’ve not yet arrived at the destination…there’s still so much work to be done, so little time left, and all of us are needed to accomplish the task. The Racers have paved a way….and in the process of praying for them and financially supporting them, they opened my heart to passions I had forgotten about, that I really care about…. but life got busy and I put things on hold…hey just because I am 53 doesn’t mean I want to make any less of an impact than the 22 year old on the race or that God is finished with me yet…so thanks for inspiring and reminding me to get back on track and in the action! For so many people, you have jolted our memories and renewed our confidence in what God will do with an individual’s availability and trust in Him….and you’ve given us fresh faith in the Lord’s goodness.
Fellow racers, I know you’re getting tired, and worn down, and homesick, and ready to take a break….but hold on and finish strong the race that is set before you…..then we’ll join you for the rest!
We are big believers in going to see what God is doing in the world and becoming a part of it if possible. It has been so great meeting online and following so many committed young adults on the World Race. We feel like we know Emily’s teammates even though we have never met them face-to-face. We read their blogs and pray for them daily. They have become family to us this year. Their joys are ours, and their heartaches and burdens are ours, too!
The biggest blessing for the World Racers seems to be their global family…the brothers and sisters they meet and serve around the world. Language barriers disappear, differences become invisible and are replaced by common dreams for a better world……a preview of heaven. I’ve learned a lot about myself through watching and hearing their messages through their videos and blogs, and feeling honored to be a member of their audience, but wishing I was along on the race.
And then I realize that I am a member of the global family, too. I’m just an older member who has run my own race and though a little further along in the journey, I’ve not yet arrived at the destination…there’s still so much work to be done, so little time left, and all of us are needed to accomplish the task. The Racers have paved a way….and in the process of praying for them and financially supporting them, they opened my heart to passions I had forgotten about, that I really care about…. but life got busy and I put things on hold…hey just because I am 53 doesn’t mean I want to make any less of an impact than the 22 year old on the race or that God is finished with me yet…so thanks for inspiring and reminding me to get back on track and in the action! For so many people, you have jolted our memories and renewed our confidence in what God will do with an individual’s availability and trust in Him….and you’ve given us fresh faith in the Lord’s goodness.
Fellow racers, I know you’re getting tired, and worn down, and homesick, and ready to take a break….but hold on and finish strong the race that is set before you…..then we’ll join you for the rest!
Friday, July 1, 2011
When Heaven Meets Earth
I’ve been amazed at Mae’s story! Emily has loved her ministry opportunity in Thailand. She loves to make a plan, set goals, and set it in action. It’s an unexpected joy to see the plan come together before your very eyes especially in a timely manner. She is used to the Latin American culture where things take a long time to happen. So, it has been so exciting to follow Mae and another woman named Ning on their journey to freedom from the sex trade industry in Chiang Mai, Thailand. God’s fingerprints (or as Emily calls them, “God winks”) are all over this story. It’s so compelling…I can’t begin to tell it like Emily….so read it and be touched. She wrote it in real time…we were all hanging on… waiting each day for the next portion…read them all beginning with Part 1 from the following: She Has A Dream: Mae’s Story (Part 1) at http://emilytuttle.theworldrace.org/?filename=she-has-a-dream. And her teammates, Tiffany’s blog : Life for Sale: Only $100 at www.tiffanyprater.theworldrace.org and Joy’s blog: Love at the Kitty Cats Bar: Part 1 at www.joyrobertson.theworldrace.org are also very telling about this drama.
It’s exhilarating to be involved in such life-changing events…..to be partnered with God in what He is doing in His kingdom here on Earth, as it is in Heaven. Any given day, as we pray for God to work and intervene in lives and governments, we are part of the grand scheme…..but sometimes, God allows us to play more of a key role in a miracle He is performing….and that’s as good as it gets! Emily and her team felt this way about their time in Thailand….with Emmi at Lighthouse in Action, and the friends they made at the Kitty Cats Bar.
I know they have been changed forever……and so have I…
It’s exhilarating to be involved in such life-changing events…..to be partnered with God in what He is doing in His kingdom here on Earth, as it is in Heaven. Any given day, as we pray for God to work and intervene in lives and governments, we are part of the grand scheme…..but sometimes, God allows us to play more of a key role in a miracle He is performing….and that’s as good as it gets! Emily and her team felt this way about their time in Thailand….with Emmi at Lighthouse in Action, and the friends they made at the Kitty Cats Bar.
I know they have been changed forever……and so have I…
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Fear Management
Month 3…There were so many reasons why I was afraid of Emily going on this trip, why I still am afraid…the usual Mom issues. I’m afraid she will get sick. I keep warning her to stay hydrated. I think about parasites, bad water, diseases like Malaria or typhoid. I’m afraid she will get in an accident…the buses get so close to the edge of curvy mountain roads and small unknown airline companies are prevalent in many countries…the planes are old used ones with mechanical problems. I’m afraid of security issues, that someone will bother her…I guess I’ve seen too many movies like “Taken”. I’m afraid of many things. I knew when she left that there would be times that we would not be able to communicate with her when the internet is not available. She told me to expect it. But, I hate being cut off. When I don’t hear from her in an email or a text or a facebook message, I worry until I hear something…which can be a long time. It’s hard not to be irrational and let my imagination run away with scary scenarios. I’ve had many nights of poor sleep and worry.
It’s now month 6…I’ve learned some lessons. I’ve learned to remember the time God confirmed to my heart in Guatemala as I watched her with the children in the orphanage…that she needs to go, that I can’t get in the way of what she believes God is leading her to do. I can’t interrupt what God is doing in her heart…so when my fears rise up, I’ve learned to remember that moment. I’ve learned to pray every time I start worrying. I thought my prayer life was strong from all the practice I’d had raising children, being a wife, balancing work and home…. but at least I knew where everyone was and I could communicate with them. The World Race has challenged my prayer life like nothing else. It helps me take my worries to God who gives perspective to me. He is with her and me simultaneously. He can answer our prayers and calm our fears simultaneously. I’ve learned to recognize when my fears are creeping in….see the red flags, and give my burden sooner to God rather than letting my feelings get carried away. There’s nothing I can do anyway. It’s hard to admit that I have a control issue, and it’s hard to accept when I am completely out of control. By that I mean when I can’t see or talk to my family, and know that they are well, and be able to do things to meet their needs, then I feel out of my element and my world is not right. But on the upside, it forces me to depend on God instead of myself, and causes my faith to grow.
I struggle the most on the travel days….when Emily is transitioning from country to country, so we are out of touch for several days at a time. I imagine all kinds of problems. But, it’s sweet when I hear from her. I also struggle when internet is very limited. Skype calls and internet capability are huge blessings during the WR, so when these are cut off, it’s not easy. Receiving her blogs is a daily anticipation, and it’s always a letdown when several days go by with no news. But, it’s what I expect….and keeping my expectations realistic is important. Emily is good about telling us what to expect, and she makes herself available online as often as possible, so it’s a challenge to manage my expectations. I get spoiled during the good months of great communication….then I have to adjust during the slow months.
I’ve learned that trusting God is a day to day process…
It’s now month 6…I’ve learned some lessons. I’ve learned to remember the time God confirmed to my heart in Guatemala as I watched her with the children in the orphanage…that she needs to go, that I can’t get in the way of what she believes God is leading her to do. I can’t interrupt what God is doing in her heart…so when my fears rise up, I’ve learned to remember that moment. I’ve learned to pray every time I start worrying. I thought my prayer life was strong from all the practice I’d had raising children, being a wife, balancing work and home…. but at least I knew where everyone was and I could communicate with them. The World Race has challenged my prayer life like nothing else. It helps me take my worries to God who gives perspective to me. He is with her and me simultaneously. He can answer our prayers and calm our fears simultaneously. I’ve learned to recognize when my fears are creeping in….see the red flags, and give my burden sooner to God rather than letting my feelings get carried away. There’s nothing I can do anyway. It’s hard to admit that I have a control issue, and it’s hard to accept when I am completely out of control. By that I mean when I can’t see or talk to my family, and know that they are well, and be able to do things to meet their needs, then I feel out of my element and my world is not right. But on the upside, it forces me to depend on God instead of myself, and causes my faith to grow.
I struggle the most on the travel days….when Emily is transitioning from country to country, so we are out of touch for several days at a time. I imagine all kinds of problems. But, it’s sweet when I hear from her. I also struggle when internet is very limited. Skype calls and internet capability are huge blessings during the WR, so when these are cut off, it’s not easy. Receiving her blogs is a daily anticipation, and it’s always a letdown when several days go by with no news. But, it’s what I expect….and keeping my expectations realistic is important. Emily is good about telling us what to expect, and she makes herself available online as often as possible, so it’s a challenge to manage my expectations. I get spoiled during the good months of great communication….then I have to adjust during the slow months.
I’ve learned that trusting God is a day to day process…
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Comfort Zone....Really??
I think I’m dehydrated from crying so much. Her blogs are not just telling the stories of broken lives and needy souls, they’re revealing her heart…her passion…who she really is…and she tells them so beautifully, so compellingly, so blatantly, so graciously. But why do they affect me so much? Why do they have to be about so much pain and sadness and brokenness. Why couldn’t they be fairy tales with happy endings or just human interest stories from other countries or theological lessons she’s learning from exposure to different church backgrounds and denominations. Instead, I have to deal with feelings of conviction, disgust, hatred, anger, helplessness, despair, sadness, and many other unpleasant emotions that rise up in me as I’m confronted with the harsh reality of the shattered and torn lives of total strangers I’ve only met because I let myself be vulnerable and I read their stories. Through her blogs, I meet these people….I find out about these people….I know about these people. They have names now and families….like me! I can’t deny their existence anymore. I can’t ignore their plights anymore. I can’t claim ignorance anymore…I know too much. I can’t be naïve anymore…I am no longer clueless to their struggles. But it’s supposed to be their feelings of loss, abandonment, heartache, trauma, indignity, hurt, horror, deprivation….not mine! After all, I’m just reading a story, a diary, a journal.
Why do I now feel like I’ve lost my innocence…my excuses…I’m SO uncomfortable now, SO bothered, SO annoyed at what I’ve heard and can’t do anything about….SO aware of just how messed up this planet is and instead of answers, I have more questions! I am SO out of my comfort zone…isn’t that what we say now in modern times, especially in the church? We like to be in our “comfort zones”, and when we’re presented with opportunities to step out and do something new and daring and exciting and dare I say, impactful or life-changing, the first thing that pops out of our mouths is, “I don’t think I can handle that…it puts me too far out of my comfort zone…it’s just not me, but I’ll pray about it”… blah,blah,blah. Why does that now leave a sour taste in my mouth? We avoid situations that threaten us or push us too close to the edge of our comfort levels….and we avoid people who make us feel guilty or convicted about things that are “uncomfortable” to think about. Where did that thinking come from? Forget for a minute that I have principles or convictions and that I claim to be a follower of Jesus Christ….let’s put aside the obvious reason for motivating me to become involved in things or with people who make me uncomfortable. Let’s say I’m an atheist or have no belief system which dictates moral responsibility to others in need. How can I be human but not humanitarian? How can I just look the other way once I’ve become aware and just change the channel to watch something more entertaining, something light and mindless…because, after all, life is hard enough. It is?! Since when? Is my life hard?! Where did I get that idea?!! So, eventually my senses become dulled…so what. That can be a good thing, right? And what’s wrong with that? I didn’t cause anyone to be poor or trapped in slavery or prostitution or become sick or a victim of a natural disaster or a member of an abusive family or a citizen of a corrupt government or a victim of rape or an orphan…I can’t be blamed for all these problems in the world! Let’s be reasonable. Those things happened from poor choices and unfortunate events. So it’s really ok to turn away from the ugliness, to close my eyes from the grotesque, to cover my ears from the crying and noise, to hold my nose from the stench, to wear gloves to protect me from the germs and contagion….so get off my back! What’s the big deal?! I shouldn’t have to experience these peoples’struggles. And so what if eventually I can’t see, or hear, or smell, or feel anything except what I want to. That’s my right, my choice.
How did comfort become my goal? How did it all become about me and my feelings being protected. Why do my feelings matter when theirs don’t? How did I get the privilege of living securely and safely and comfortably? How did I get rights? How did I get to be free? How did I get to be educated? How did I get to hear about the love and forgiveness and sacrifice of Jesus Christ and choose to follow Him without any negative consequences? How is it ok to be indifferent to others’ pain, to be uninvolved in human sufferings….why is that an option? Apparently it is in most places that I’ve lived. I’ve always heard that “what you don’t know won’t hurt you” and “ignorance is bliss”. What is that about? Are these words of wisdom that I should build my life around and strive for….to raise up a wall of protection around me so that I can be unaware and ignorant and therefore, it won’t cost me anything or hurt my feelings or “require” any response from me. I’m so disgusted with my acquiescence, my apathy, my COMFORT! I thought I had come further than this. I really thought I had become a decent human being who cared deeply for all people, all races, all cultures. I thought my heart had been broken for the downtrodden and poor. Instead, I’ve kept my world so small and predictable. I’ve been controlling the thermostat and shutting the doors to make sure my environment is air-tight and free of pollutants, bugs, heat, smells, unpleasant sounds like the cries of hunger or those in pain right here in my own city not to mention the rest of the globe. How in any way can this be acceptable? I’ve made sure that I was always relatively comfortable…I’ve bought into our culture that says I should be comfortable. I even spout about how God is teaching me to branch out of my “comfort zone” almost as if it’s real or something spiritual. As far as I know, it doesn’t even exist! It’s not in the Bible. I guess we got it from the Declaration of Independence where it mentions our right to the ”pursuit of happiness”. Yes, happiness must mean comfort. But somehow, it doesn’t make me happy to know that I get to be comfortable when so many aren’t. It doesn’t make me happy to know that just because I grew up with privilege and freedom that I should claim it as a right just because I can… while they can’t….is that when they say, “stinks for them?”. I always wondered when that expression was acceptable…I get it now.
This is a real dilemma. I’ve been reading these blogs and they’re making me think, they’re making me feel, they’re making me cry, they’re making me wonder… what did I think about or feel before I learned about so many precious but tragic lives? It does stink for them. They don’t have a choice. They don’t have the option of being comfortable. And, they’re making me UNCOMFORTABLE!!
Why do I now feel like I’ve lost my innocence…my excuses…I’m SO uncomfortable now, SO bothered, SO annoyed at what I’ve heard and can’t do anything about….SO aware of just how messed up this planet is and instead of answers, I have more questions! I am SO out of my comfort zone…isn’t that what we say now in modern times, especially in the church? We like to be in our “comfort zones”, and when we’re presented with opportunities to step out and do something new and daring and exciting and dare I say, impactful or life-changing, the first thing that pops out of our mouths is, “I don’t think I can handle that…it puts me too far out of my comfort zone…it’s just not me, but I’ll pray about it”… blah,blah,blah. Why does that now leave a sour taste in my mouth? We avoid situations that threaten us or push us too close to the edge of our comfort levels….and we avoid people who make us feel guilty or convicted about things that are “uncomfortable” to think about. Where did that thinking come from? Forget for a minute that I have principles or convictions and that I claim to be a follower of Jesus Christ….let’s put aside the obvious reason for motivating me to become involved in things or with people who make me uncomfortable. Let’s say I’m an atheist or have no belief system which dictates moral responsibility to others in need. How can I be human but not humanitarian? How can I just look the other way once I’ve become aware and just change the channel to watch something more entertaining, something light and mindless…because, after all, life is hard enough. It is?! Since when? Is my life hard?! Where did I get that idea?!! So, eventually my senses become dulled…so what. That can be a good thing, right? And what’s wrong with that? I didn’t cause anyone to be poor or trapped in slavery or prostitution or become sick or a victim of a natural disaster or a member of an abusive family or a citizen of a corrupt government or a victim of rape or an orphan…I can’t be blamed for all these problems in the world! Let’s be reasonable. Those things happened from poor choices and unfortunate events. So it’s really ok to turn away from the ugliness, to close my eyes from the grotesque, to cover my ears from the crying and noise, to hold my nose from the stench, to wear gloves to protect me from the germs and contagion….so get off my back! What’s the big deal?! I shouldn’t have to experience these peoples’struggles. And so what if eventually I can’t see, or hear, or smell, or feel anything except what I want to. That’s my right, my choice.
How did comfort become my goal? How did it all become about me and my feelings being protected. Why do my feelings matter when theirs don’t? How did I get the privilege of living securely and safely and comfortably? How did I get rights? How did I get to be free? How did I get to be educated? How did I get to hear about the love and forgiveness and sacrifice of Jesus Christ and choose to follow Him without any negative consequences? How is it ok to be indifferent to others’ pain, to be uninvolved in human sufferings….why is that an option? Apparently it is in most places that I’ve lived. I’ve always heard that “what you don’t know won’t hurt you” and “ignorance is bliss”. What is that about? Are these words of wisdom that I should build my life around and strive for….to raise up a wall of protection around me so that I can be unaware and ignorant and therefore, it won’t cost me anything or hurt my feelings or “require” any response from me. I’m so disgusted with my acquiescence, my apathy, my COMFORT! I thought I had come further than this. I really thought I had become a decent human being who cared deeply for all people, all races, all cultures. I thought my heart had been broken for the downtrodden and poor. Instead, I’ve kept my world so small and predictable. I’ve been controlling the thermostat and shutting the doors to make sure my environment is air-tight and free of pollutants, bugs, heat, smells, unpleasant sounds like the cries of hunger or those in pain right here in my own city not to mention the rest of the globe. How in any way can this be acceptable? I’ve made sure that I was always relatively comfortable…I’ve bought into our culture that says I should be comfortable. I even spout about how God is teaching me to branch out of my “comfort zone” almost as if it’s real or something spiritual. As far as I know, it doesn’t even exist! It’s not in the Bible. I guess we got it from the Declaration of Independence where it mentions our right to the ”pursuit of happiness”. Yes, happiness must mean comfort. But somehow, it doesn’t make me happy to know that I get to be comfortable when so many aren’t. It doesn’t make me happy to know that just because I grew up with privilege and freedom that I should claim it as a right just because I can… while they can’t….is that when they say, “stinks for them?”. I always wondered when that expression was acceptable…I get it now.
This is a real dilemma. I’ve been reading these blogs and they’re making me think, they’re making me feel, they’re making me cry, they’re making me wonder… what did I think about or feel before I learned about so many precious but tragic lives? It does stink for them. They don’t have a choice. They don’t have the option of being comfortable. And, they’re making me UNCOMFORTABLE!!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Better Than Fine
We were in South Africa visiting our ministry team and on the way to a church outside Johannesburg where Phil,my husband, was scheduled to speak at a pastors conference....when we received a call from Emily, our World Racer, at 2:00 am her time. We were surprised and concerned to be hearing from her! Her first words were, "Dad, first of all, I'm fine." Best words we could have heard! Then she told us about how she had been robbed a few hours earlier and her laptop, external hard drive, and new camera were stolen during their team time when everyone was away. It was the first time she had lowered her guard, feeling a false sense of security since the apartment they were staying in was in a locked courtyard. Someone had access to a key, and they must have known what she owned and where they were staying. Thankfully, she was safe, and not physically assaulted. She was not even present. That was the main blessing. But she was shaken and felt violated and disappointed, even disillusioned, and sad that she had lost her month of pictures from Ecuador and documentation from there. She had recorded so many images and made videos...priceless and irreplaceable. She had grown so close to the people there and had learned so much from her time in the rain forest...it was a huge personal loss. She wanted to be strong for her team, because they were all paranoid about theft, and she didn't want to put fear in their hearts....but her emotions were strong, and she was struggling...it was lonely and difficult.
We were upset and felt so badly for her. As parents, we wanted to drop everything, run to her side, and fix it! But we knew there was nothing we could do for her at that time, and it was very hard if not impossible to comfort her so far away. So we listened and told her how thankful we were that she was okay, and that we would do everything possible to replace her lost items...and told her to try to get some sleep. And we prayed a LOT for her. It was really difficult. That night, I had a lot of trouble sleeping and wanted to be with Emily and make sure she was feeling safe. I needed to know that she was taken care of and I wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be all right like I did when she was a child....but all I could do is ask God to meet her in a special way and make His presence known to her stronger than she had experienced so far since she left home. I knew He would take care of her, but I didn't know just how okay she was until the next morning...when I awoke to read a blog she had written during the night. Here it is...
....A Sloppy Wet Kiss
Posted in Peru by Emily Tuttle on 3/17/2011
I love Christmastime for a lot of reasons, but one of my favorite things is wrapping presents. In my family I'm the present wrapper. I like to choose the perfect paper for each person's interests, neatly wrap the present with exactly three pieces of Scotch tape, and select an accompanying ribbon to tie a beautiful bow on top. One year I even bought plain, solid colored paper, wrapped all the presents, and then took gold and silver paint and painted pictures and patterns onto the paper so that I could design each present's appearance. I know...it sounds just the tiniest bit obsessive. Suffice it to say, I thoroughly enjoy when things are nicely wrapped up in a neat, aesthetically-pleasing package with no loose ends.
The World Race is the exact opposite of that.
During our first meeting as a new team after the changes at debrief in Quito, our new leader, Jeremiah, asked each of us what the World Race is to us. Why did we come? Why did we leave our homes for eleven months? What are we hoping to gain, do, achieve, give, or take away from this? In light of recent events, my answer seems oddly fitting, and I think the time has come to share with you what the World Race is to me...
I had a lot of reasons for coming on the World Race. Most of them have to do with the fact that it's pretty much the coolest ministry idea I've ever heard of. If I could design a ministry that would be ideal for me and my life calling, it would look very similar. So I applied. But it wasn't until I was on the Race, in the Dominican Republic, that I realized exactly what I was participating in.
During our time in the DR, we frequently had corporate worship with the four teams living in the San Juan house. Bekah would play her guitar, and the song she always came back to was How He Loves. We sang it almost every time we had worship, and it has become a favorite of our squad. One night as we were singing, part of the lyrics jumped out in my mind, and I realized: This is the World Race.
Heaven meets earth like a sloppy, wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us, oh how he loves us...
A sloppy, wet kiss.
It hit me...the World Race is that sloppy, wet kiss. There are many goals behind the Race, but more than anything it's about heaven meeting earth. It's about bringing heaven to earth and showing people that they can live inside the love of God, protected in the palm of his hand--not only after they die and go to heaven, but right now as well. It's about teaching people that miracles still happen, and that we still serve the same powerful God of the Bible. Through prayer, following the Holy Spirit, and living out our faith daily, World Racers seek to live in that intersection of supernatural and literal. We want to live inside of the sloppy, wet kiss, in the place where heaven meets earth, but what does that look like?
Basically, it looks exactly how it sounds...sloppy, messy, confusing, intense, amazing. It's like living inside of the spark that happens when two electrically charged things touch. We live in moments of divine appointment, moments of influence, moments of uncertainty, moments of impact.
Sometimes it's a million degrees and you're covered in mud, sweat, and countless bug bites. Sometimes kids are climbing all over you, slobbering on your shirt and blessing your already-hot body with their additional body heat. Sometimes, like I did last night, you get all your things stolen when thieves break into your apartment.
But at those same times, you remember that the mud you're hiking through is leading you to people who need to hear about God. You realize that you are getting to love his children, and thereby love him. You understand that things are things and that people matter more.
The World Race is all of this. Instead of a nicely wrapped package with a pretty bow on top, it's messy, but it's the means through which God is bringing his Kingdom to earth, and there's nowhere I'd rather be. My time at Wheaton College taught me to do everything For Christ and His Kingdom, and the World Race is certainly that. Even though right now I'm dirty, I don't exactly smell like rose petals, and I no longer own any of my valuables, I'm happy, because unlike most people on planet Earth, I'm doing my dream job. I'm living in the sloppy, wet kiss.
On earth as it is in heaven... (end of blog)
All I can say is that it was the biggest hug from God that I have received in long time...just what I needed to hear. It was a huge blessing for me and Phil as parents separated from our child who is experiencing stress and had gone through a very disturbing ordeal. Wow, we cried...and we knew she was going to be fine and had experienced the tender loving care of her Heavenly Father in a new way. It took this event to make us more aware that we were no longer her providers, her sufficiency, her comfort, her security....we couldn't be....we could only watch from afar and be witnesses of something truly special happening to our daughter. It didn't mean that she didn't still feel hurt and sad and afraid and violated, but her needs were being met by her teammates as they shared their laptops with her so she could stay connected and keep up her blogs, and they took extra pictures of her in ministry and with special people and in special places so she could have recorded memories later, and they prayed with her and encouraged her and gave her their support....it was the body of Christ at work which is a beautiful thing when it happens the way God intended...out of need and full of grace! Praise be to God!
We were upset and felt so badly for her. As parents, we wanted to drop everything, run to her side, and fix it! But we knew there was nothing we could do for her at that time, and it was very hard if not impossible to comfort her so far away. So we listened and told her how thankful we were that she was okay, and that we would do everything possible to replace her lost items...and told her to try to get some sleep. And we prayed a LOT for her. It was really difficult. That night, I had a lot of trouble sleeping and wanted to be with Emily and make sure she was feeling safe. I needed to know that she was taken care of and I wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be all right like I did when she was a child....but all I could do is ask God to meet her in a special way and make His presence known to her stronger than she had experienced so far since she left home. I knew He would take care of her, but I didn't know just how okay she was until the next morning...when I awoke to read a blog she had written during the night. Here it is...
....A Sloppy Wet Kiss
Posted in Peru by Emily Tuttle on 3/17/2011
I love Christmastime for a lot of reasons, but one of my favorite things is wrapping presents. In my family I'm the present wrapper. I like to choose the perfect paper for each person's interests, neatly wrap the present with exactly three pieces of Scotch tape, and select an accompanying ribbon to tie a beautiful bow on top. One year I even bought plain, solid colored paper, wrapped all the presents, and then took gold and silver paint and painted pictures and patterns onto the paper so that I could design each present's appearance. I know...it sounds just the tiniest bit obsessive. Suffice it to say, I thoroughly enjoy when things are nicely wrapped up in a neat, aesthetically-pleasing package with no loose ends.
The World Race is the exact opposite of that.
During our first meeting as a new team after the changes at debrief in Quito, our new leader, Jeremiah, asked each of us what the World Race is to us. Why did we come? Why did we leave our homes for eleven months? What are we hoping to gain, do, achieve, give, or take away from this? In light of recent events, my answer seems oddly fitting, and I think the time has come to share with you what the World Race is to me...
I had a lot of reasons for coming on the World Race. Most of them have to do with the fact that it's pretty much the coolest ministry idea I've ever heard of. If I could design a ministry that would be ideal for me and my life calling, it would look very similar. So I applied. But it wasn't until I was on the Race, in the Dominican Republic, that I realized exactly what I was participating in.
During our time in the DR, we frequently had corporate worship with the four teams living in the San Juan house. Bekah would play her guitar, and the song she always came back to was How He Loves. We sang it almost every time we had worship, and it has become a favorite of our squad. One night as we were singing, part of the lyrics jumped out in my mind, and I realized: This is the World Race.
Heaven meets earth like a sloppy, wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us, oh how he loves us...
A sloppy, wet kiss.
It hit me...the World Race is that sloppy, wet kiss. There are many goals behind the Race, but more than anything it's about heaven meeting earth. It's about bringing heaven to earth and showing people that they can live inside the love of God, protected in the palm of his hand--not only after they die and go to heaven, but right now as well. It's about teaching people that miracles still happen, and that we still serve the same powerful God of the Bible. Through prayer, following the Holy Spirit, and living out our faith daily, World Racers seek to live in that intersection of supernatural and literal. We want to live inside of the sloppy, wet kiss, in the place where heaven meets earth, but what does that look like?
Basically, it looks exactly how it sounds...sloppy, messy, confusing, intense, amazing. It's like living inside of the spark that happens when two electrically charged things touch. We live in moments of divine appointment, moments of influence, moments of uncertainty, moments of impact.
Sometimes it's a million degrees and you're covered in mud, sweat, and countless bug bites. Sometimes kids are climbing all over you, slobbering on your shirt and blessing your already-hot body with their additional body heat. Sometimes, like I did last night, you get all your things stolen when thieves break into your apartment.
But at those same times, you remember that the mud you're hiking through is leading you to people who need to hear about God. You realize that you are getting to love his children, and thereby love him. You understand that things are things and that people matter more.
The World Race is all of this. Instead of a nicely wrapped package with a pretty bow on top, it's messy, but it's the means through which God is bringing his Kingdom to earth, and there's nowhere I'd rather be. My time at Wheaton College taught me to do everything For Christ and His Kingdom, and the World Race is certainly that. Even though right now I'm dirty, I don't exactly smell like rose petals, and I no longer own any of my valuables, I'm happy, because unlike most people on planet Earth, I'm doing my dream job. I'm living in the sloppy, wet kiss.
On earth as it is in heaven... (end of blog)
All I can say is that it was the biggest hug from God that I have received in long time...just what I needed to hear. It was a huge blessing for me and Phil as parents separated from our child who is experiencing stress and had gone through a very disturbing ordeal. Wow, we cried...and we knew she was going to be fine and had experienced the tender loving care of her Heavenly Father in a new way. It took this event to make us more aware that we were no longer her providers, her sufficiency, her comfort, her security....we couldn't be....we could only watch from afar and be witnesses of something truly special happening to our daughter. It didn't mean that she didn't still feel hurt and sad and afraid and violated, but her needs were being met by her teammates as they shared their laptops with her so she could stay connected and keep up her blogs, and they took extra pictures of her in ministry and with special people and in special places so she could have recorded memories later, and they prayed with her and encouraged her and gave her their support....it was the body of Christ at work which is a beautiful thing when it happens the way God intended...out of need and full of grace! Praise be to God!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Hugged by God
Well, I got pretty spoiled last month when Emily was in the DR (Dominican Republic)and we heard from her every couple of days. I didn't know how good we had it until this month. She's been living in El Reten, Ecuador, a tiny village located in a rain forest five or six hours from Quito and two hours from the nearest town where internet is available,though not a strong signal. So, let's just say that we have been out of touch with Emily, and that has been disconcerting to me. My tendencies to worry and speculate have been excessively abused. When I found out that the whole village was down with an intestinal virus, and that Emily had come down with a fever and nausea (she managed to text me somehow....she keeps her phone off since it's very expensive to let it roam when unused, but she tried it once to see if it worked). Of course, on the one hand, I was ecstatic to hear from her, because it had been several weeks....and on the other hand, I started worrying afterwards, imagining dehydration and not able to get good medical help with the closest town two hours away. Several days went by, and my mind was quite creative with all the possible outcomes that had inevitably developed. I was sitting in my family room, holding my phone the other night, and God did something very kind to me. I prayed that I would hear something from Emily soon to know that she was ok so that I could have some peace of mind. Literally within seconds of praying that, my phone beeped. I looked down in my hand to see who sent me a text....it was Emily!!!! She said sorry that she had turned off her phone and hadn't seen my message asking for an update on her health. She was doing fine and had returned to ministering with the VBS program 6 miles away. Her appetite had not returned, but she was much better. Talk about perfect timing! This was it! In one week, she will leave El Reten and return to Quito for several days of Debriefing, then off to Peru...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)