I just read Emily’s blog from one of her ongoing series entitled, “ My Life Is Weird”, and as I’m reading about her most recent out-of-the-ordinary situations that the World Race has afforded her in Kenya, it occurred to me almost shockingly that these stories are the reason that I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in recent history! I’ve mentioned how well exercised my prayer life has become during this year….well, that’s putting it mildly of late. We only hear from her once a week at best, and the internet connection is weak, so we’ll have this hour-long very shallow facebook chat consisting of asking each other how we’re doing, what we’re doing, and how much we miss each other…with five minute long interruptions in the connection between questions. It’s so frustrating and by the time I get the basics covered and want to get on to more important material, she’s signing off to leave, because we’re 10 hours a part in time…
So, as I’m reading these accounts of her life long after the fact, I’m realizing that all the times I wake up in the middle of night thinking that something might be wrong or that I wish I could communicate to her…those were the very situations that she’s writing about….and I’m aware that she and the team needed the extra prayer at these times…that even though I couldn’t talk to her and didn’t know all the details, God did, and He’s taught me this year to pray when I wake up for whatever reason rather than worry or speculate. I wake up a lot and it used to scare me, but now I pray, and from what I’ve just read, it’s a good thing that I did and that I didn’t know all the details. Emily has been in a few risky situations that she’s handled very wisely, and God protected her. Some of her team members have been sick, and God has provided medicine and healing. It’s about trust and dependence…it’s really hard and actually “exhausting”!
I always say that true rest is “eternal rest”, not meant to occur in this life….at least not for Moms! We’ll get our rest in the next life, because our children and husbands need extra prayer for now, and God knows we’re light sleepers!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Christian-culture Cocktail
It's interesting how humans universally define their worth based on tasks accomplished, financial status, material possessions, physical appearance and ability, and by their human relationships instead of on the basis of being created in the image of a loving God who desires that we not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds in order to worship Him and serve Him as living sacrifices. We've been invited by the Most High to spend eternity with Him, and He's provided redemption from our sin through the death of His son on the cross...that's giving us a position of great worth! But we stubbornly believe that we have to earn His attention by our works and performance which ultimately leads us to believe that we deserve His attention and favor, which then leads us to believe that we're inherently good. Therefore if God places us in a position of strength and power, we can be the saviors of the world, rescuing the needy and remaking them in our image. Our culture has been stirred in to our thinking....like a Christian-culture cocktail!
It's odd... the way we deceive ourselves into thinking that our pursuits are what God really wants for us; we believe He'll provide what we want (because what we want is all good) and that's our idea of the abundant life. For the average Christian in America, it takes on similar forms of this...our happy healthy kids around us, a spacious comfortable clean place to live, preferably a private school education, an acceptable job which provides enough money to pay for anything we need, even some wants and a little extra for giving away, a church which wows us by its great teaching, challenges us but is light on guilt and demands little of our actual time and involvement, allowing us time for all our kids' sports and music events... throw in some good friends, a couple of vacations each year or a mission trip so we're globally-minded, and we're good.
As I read and hear the news in less fortunate parts of the world, the Christian life experience as I know it slams smack into the face of the one another person is experiencing, and the two are not compatible. My culture has had that much of an effect on me that I honestly have bought into the thinking that the American way is the Christian way and God will absolutely honor our wishes and bless our endeavors just because we ask Him to ....because He's God and He can...and we're right to believe in freedom and human rights and liberties, so God will honor those values. Yes, He can, but He doesn't have to and may not want to and doesn't owe us anything...and what about the people on the other side with no rights who are also praying to Him for provision, mercy, healing, food, jobs, and a humanitarian government. Are they less deserving? Are we even deserving at all? Entitlement creeps into my thinking almost imperceptively. Yes,I realize that if I picked any third-world country and instantly made it a developed first-world country with wealth and freedom and opportunity for all, then those people would also be spoiled and have an entitled mindset...it's not that Americans or Westerners are inherently this way...all people have the same tendency for self-absorption and gratification based on their living conditions and life circumstances, and if their understanding of God is that He's the great provider of life as they like it, then they'll be believers! Of course that's true, but I happen to be the one experiencing the good life at the moment.
So why the confusion and discontentment? I'm reminded that I need to see myself as God sees me and go to the Bible as my source to find my worth, to recognize my sinful state and need for the only solution to my sin, my savior Jesus Christ, and discover what the abundant life actually is...not what my culture has redefined it to be... which has always been skewed towards self-sufficiency... individualism and independence (that's the American way)... being so careful to separate church and state that by doing so, we've come up with a new recipe for Christianity by mixing culture into it. The result is that we've distanced ourselves from God just enough so that what He thinks and what He defines as essential truth has become blurred and undiscernible. It's like we've become inoculated against the real thing, so we're not experiencing authentic Christian life. No wonder we're discontent and disillusioned! Oops, I'm mixing my metaphors...let's just say that too many cocktails can blur your thinking and create a false sense of reality...is that better? Sorry...
I am realizing the inconsistencies in my mind as I've had discussions with Emily during her college years and I read scripture, and lately as I follow the blogs of the World Racers this year and watch their experiences with other cultures, other races and people groups. As they have this opportunity to remove themselves from their own cultural influences, I wonder if they are struggling with these same internal battles, and how objectively can they evaluate the onslaught of other ideologies and influences which will inevitably present themselves. A lot of them are on the WR because of this...they have been taught and challenged in their Bible and Anthropology and Sociology classes, and they're disturbed by the idea of one culture defining and imposing its will on all cultures, that the old-school way of doing mission work is no longer acceptable in their minds...now they hope to see the world with new eyes and deliver their message of Christ's love with a more humble and servant-hearted approach. I admire this generation's fervor and global perspective...they really do have a better understanding of biblical values and why all people are worth loving and saving...and for their young unscrambled minds, it's not that big of a task to filter and expunge all the cultural impurities that have muddied the waters, but for my old brain, it seems too daunting. Where do we start? How do we know what's culture and what's actual Christian truth? They seem wiser in some ways, and hopefully will be more successful than my generation at what's really essential...keeping their focus on God and His Word which is pure, unchanging, timeless, and relevant to all people in all cultures and also on His ultimate goal which is that one day, all will bow and worship Him and know the truth.
Colossians 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and
deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and
the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.
It's odd... the way we deceive ourselves into thinking that our pursuits are what God really wants for us; we believe He'll provide what we want (because what we want is all good) and that's our idea of the abundant life. For the average Christian in America, it takes on similar forms of this...our happy healthy kids around us, a spacious comfortable clean place to live, preferably a private school education, an acceptable job which provides enough money to pay for anything we need, even some wants and a little extra for giving away, a church which wows us by its great teaching, challenges us but is light on guilt and demands little of our actual time and involvement, allowing us time for all our kids' sports and music events... throw in some good friends, a couple of vacations each year or a mission trip so we're globally-minded, and we're good.
As I read and hear the news in less fortunate parts of the world, the Christian life experience as I know it slams smack into the face of the one another person is experiencing, and the two are not compatible. My culture has had that much of an effect on me that I honestly have bought into the thinking that the American way is the Christian way and God will absolutely honor our wishes and bless our endeavors just because we ask Him to ....because He's God and He can...and we're right to believe in freedom and human rights and liberties, so God will honor those values. Yes, He can, but He doesn't have to and may not want to and doesn't owe us anything...and what about the people on the other side with no rights who are also praying to Him for provision, mercy, healing, food, jobs, and a humanitarian government. Are they less deserving? Are we even deserving at all? Entitlement creeps into my thinking almost imperceptively. Yes,I realize that if I picked any third-world country and instantly made it a developed first-world country with wealth and freedom and opportunity for all, then those people would also be spoiled and have an entitled mindset...it's not that Americans or Westerners are inherently this way...all people have the same tendency for self-absorption and gratification based on their living conditions and life circumstances, and if their understanding of God is that He's the great provider of life as they like it, then they'll be believers! Of course that's true, but I happen to be the one experiencing the good life at the moment.
So why the confusion and discontentment? I'm reminded that I need to see myself as God sees me and go to the Bible as my source to find my worth, to recognize my sinful state and need for the only solution to my sin, my savior Jesus Christ, and discover what the abundant life actually is...not what my culture has redefined it to be... which has always been skewed towards self-sufficiency... individualism and independence (that's the American way)... being so careful to separate church and state that by doing so, we've come up with a new recipe for Christianity by mixing culture into it. The result is that we've distanced ourselves from God just enough so that what He thinks and what He defines as essential truth has become blurred and undiscernible. It's like we've become inoculated against the real thing, so we're not experiencing authentic Christian life. No wonder we're discontent and disillusioned! Oops, I'm mixing my metaphors...let's just say that too many cocktails can blur your thinking and create a false sense of reality...is that better? Sorry...
I am realizing the inconsistencies in my mind as I've had discussions with Emily during her college years and I read scripture, and lately as I follow the blogs of the World Racers this year and watch their experiences with other cultures, other races and people groups. As they have this opportunity to remove themselves from their own cultural influences, I wonder if they are struggling with these same internal battles, and how objectively can they evaluate the onslaught of other ideologies and influences which will inevitably present themselves. A lot of them are on the WR because of this...they have been taught and challenged in their Bible and Anthropology and Sociology classes, and they're disturbed by the idea of one culture defining and imposing its will on all cultures, that the old-school way of doing mission work is no longer acceptable in their minds...now they hope to see the world with new eyes and deliver their message of Christ's love with a more humble and servant-hearted approach. I admire this generation's fervor and global perspective...they really do have a better understanding of biblical values and why all people are worth loving and saving...and for their young unscrambled minds, it's not that big of a task to filter and expunge all the cultural impurities that have muddied the waters, but for my old brain, it seems too daunting. Where do we start? How do we know what's culture and what's actual Christian truth? They seem wiser in some ways, and hopefully will be more successful than my generation at what's really essential...keeping their focus on God and His Word which is pure, unchanging, timeless, and relevant to all people in all cultures and also on His ultimate goal which is that one day, all will bow and worship Him and know the truth.
Colossians 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and
deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and
the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Community
I've been reminded about the importance of community as I've read the blogs of Emily and her teammates on the World Race these past 7 months. They have become family to each other, and as is true with families, some days are difficult and full of conflict, and other days are marked by celebrating high moments or shouldering each others' burdens, but the average day is living together in community...six or seven people from all different backgrounds sharing the same space while adjusting to new cultures, new languages...their challenge is accepting one another and honoring Christ.
It's common for the teams to be divided up along the way allowing new leaders to emerge and avoid becoming ingrown and too comfortable. But the leadership of the World Race has a policy whereby teams who are struggling to function well because of interpersonal conflicts are required to stay together until these are worked out rather than leaving problems unresolved. In the short term, it seems frustrating and inefficient, but in the long run, it's best for the racers' future relationships and personal development. I applaud this, because in real life, you can't just remove a person who annoys you at work or at church, and even though many marriages dissolve from "irreconcilable" differences, it's God's desire that we grow through our differences and learn to forgive each other. By not interrupting this process on the World Race, team members usually learn to love one another. That seems to be the case with Team Wreckonciled (aptly named)!
A healthy team manages to have fun together in creative ways to endure the monotony at times. It warmed my heart when Emily told me about their Christmas in July celebration. The guys bought the girls ice cream, and dinner was hamburgers, mashed potatoes with gravy, and loaded fries...a complete departure of their normal fare. They read the Christmas story, listened to Christmas carols, and had a secret Santa gift exchange. I watched the video and laughed so hard..their gifts seemed to reflect their growing fondness for each other! Their spirits were lifted and the whole event provided a much needed evening of jolliness!
Community is born in these moments...
It's common for the teams to be divided up along the way allowing new leaders to emerge and avoid becoming ingrown and too comfortable. But the leadership of the World Race has a policy whereby teams who are struggling to function well because of interpersonal conflicts are required to stay together until these are worked out rather than leaving problems unresolved. In the short term, it seems frustrating and inefficient, but in the long run, it's best for the racers' future relationships and personal development. I applaud this, because in real life, you can't just remove a person who annoys you at work or at church, and even though many marriages dissolve from "irreconcilable" differences, it's God's desire that we grow through our differences and learn to forgive each other. By not interrupting this process on the World Race, team members usually learn to love one another. That seems to be the case with Team Wreckonciled (aptly named)!
A healthy team manages to have fun together in creative ways to endure the monotony at times. It warmed my heart when Emily told me about their Christmas in July celebration. The guys bought the girls ice cream, and dinner was hamburgers, mashed potatoes with gravy, and loaded fries...a complete departure of their normal fare. They read the Christmas story, listened to Christmas carols, and had a secret Santa gift exchange. I watched the video and laughed so hard..their gifts seemed to reflect their growing fondness for each other! Their spirits were lifted and the whole event provided a much needed evening of jolliness!
Community is born in these moments...
Monday, August 22, 2011
The Things I Can't Control...Oh, That Would Be Everything!
Emily mentioned the other day that several of her squad members had malaria and a few had typhoid, so her team was being tested for these before they finish their monthly ministry in Uganda..that was unsettling, but it happens..thankfully, they were fine. She had been vaccinated against typhoid and had been on malaria meds for a while, but precautions were taken anyway, just in case. Of course, I'm imagining her blood being drawn with a dirty needle, but she's already had the test, so what's done is done....and the all familiar fears creep into my mind. I begin to pray...
So today the team leaves their house in Uganda to get a couple of days of R&R before their debrief in Nairobi, Kenya and next assignment in Tanzania. They are ready for a change of scenery plus a little fun, so off they go to Jinja in Uganda for some bungeeing and white water rafting (class 5)! Again, I am fearful. What possesses people to jump off bridges tied to an elastic rope or ride through the roughest river water in the world, being tossed into the water and hurled into rocks...maybe I've read too many other blogs! I loved white water rafting the time I went, but I was in class 2 water...mild compared to this. So even on their off "fun" days, my fears take over, and I imagine the worse case scenarios.
The World Race is making me face my issues head on...I hate being out of control and unable to fix something or prevent something bad from happening. I hate being far away from my child and unable to jump on a plane to go help her. Once again, I'm reminded that she's much better off in God's hands than mine and I never was in control. She's an adult and has a free will to make choices. I place God back in His rightful place as Lord of all and in control of the universe (not that He ever left) and get down on my worn out knees to pray for health and safety and His will to be done...
So today the team leaves their house in Uganda to get a couple of days of R&R before their debrief in Nairobi, Kenya and next assignment in Tanzania. They are ready for a change of scenery plus a little fun, so off they go to Jinja in Uganda for some bungeeing and white water rafting (class 5)! Again, I am fearful. What possesses people to jump off bridges tied to an elastic rope or ride through the roughest river water in the world, being tossed into the water and hurled into rocks...maybe I've read too many other blogs! I loved white water rafting the time I went, but I was in class 2 water...mild compared to this. So even on their off "fun" days, my fears take over, and I imagine the worse case scenarios.
The World Race is making me face my issues head on...I hate being out of control and unable to fix something or prevent something bad from happening. I hate being far away from my child and unable to jump on a plane to go help her. Once again, I'm reminded that she's much better off in God's hands than mine and I never was in control. She's an adult and has a free will to make choices. I place God back in His rightful place as Lord of all and in control of the universe (not that He ever left) and get down on my worn out knees to pray for health and safety and His will to be done...
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Born to Leave...
Emily is in Africa. She was in Kenya last month and Uganda this month...her conditions have been rough, and our communication very limited. I hate being cut off from her...I have so many questions. Mostly, I miss seeing her face and feeling her hugs and having her company. I dreamed the other night for the first time since she left six months ago of our reunion...we were hugging and crying, so happy to see each other....then I woke up crying just like in my dream and realized it wasn't real. I seldom remember dreams, so this was vivid and bittersweet. I realized how much I need to see her and how the next three and half months will be a lot of the same...poor internet or no internet and lots of praying. Selfishly, I want the time to move along, but I also want her to embrace and experience each moment and savor the present day. Then today, I launched our son off to college, and the house became empty and way too quiet. I realize how much I actually like the sound of their voices and the activity around me.
I know we can't hold on to our children. If they fly out of the nest and find their way in life by using their gifts to love and serve others, and walk with God, then we can feel a peace that though we experience the physical absence from them, they will be all right, and they will be fulfilled.....and then so will we...but the process is painful and lonely. I try to treasure every moment I have with my kids, and talk to God a lot about them. He's patient even though I repeat myself all the time, and He even understands when I stare at their pictures a lot online and cry unexpectedly. He likes the sound of my voice, too. I realize that He really does understand...and it's comforting.
I know we can't hold on to our children. If they fly out of the nest and find their way in life by using their gifts to love and serve others, and walk with God, then we can feel a peace that though we experience the physical absence from them, they will be all right, and they will be fulfilled.....and then so will we...but the process is painful and lonely. I try to treasure every moment I have with my kids, and talk to God a lot about them. He's patient even though I repeat myself all the time, and He even understands when I stare at their pictures a lot online and cry unexpectedly. He likes the sound of my voice, too. I realize that He really does understand...and it's comforting.
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